Bit of an update about my pain getting worse, failed streaming attempt, struggling to get by even more than ever and more.
So my chronic pain which gets worse over time, has rapidly gotten massively worse over the last 3 or 4 months, and even worse in the last 1 month to the point I am in bed most of the time again.
My fentanyl doesn’t work as well, but also my pain is higher too. Also withdrawals which I get every 48 hours and have for about 4 years, is much worse again so I struggle to sleep every other day on top of all the other issues.
As you may know, I can’t work and now I can’t do anything pretty much.
You know I have a Twitch channel in the hopes of earning money via that (which didn’t work) which I had to stream less and less to, and now I had to cut it back to very minimum as I need around 5 days bedbound in agony to recover from a stream of even 1 hour!
It is agonising, massively draining and physically torturous. I can’t use keyboard and mouse due to disability so have to use a controller but even that is difficult due to pain and fatigue. I smile but inside I am screaming and crying but I hide it.
I was doing it in the hopes of earning money for food and bills, but even after all this time, I still get 1 viewer and earn $0-$7 at the very most a month which you can’t get until you hit a certain amount, and then you have fees and currency fees on top plus they take 50% of subs of which I had 2…
So yeah all that for nothing really!
It is a very fake platform where the big streamers stay big by being listed first and on the homepage, whereas small streamers have to promote a lot and “network” which is the most fake rubbish I have ever come across!
“Networking”, is the term they use for “using people to try to get what you want”. So people make fake friends with you in the hopes that THEY will get boosted from your stream. They hope you will RT them, raid them or share their stream.
I wouldn’t/couldn’t do that and I got nowhere. If you can’t do this well you will not get anywhere.
I had lots do it to me though, be fake with me in the hopes I would sit in their streams and share their streams, even though I said I am physically bedbound after a stream. When they realise they can’t get anything from you, they move to someone else. There are thousands that do this daily.
I will never recommend streaming to any chronically ill people unless you don’t care about money or viewers. If you hope to earn from it, good luck.
So now I have nothing to try to earn money! This was torture anyway but I hoped one day it would pay off and it never did.
You might think it’s easy to earn money on there when you see big streamers getting money thrown at them, well that doesn’t happen at the bottom. You are lucky to get 1 sub and 1 follower!
I barely made anything even after years of trying. And now I physically can’t even do it for an hour a week. It is just torture. A
I cannot work at all and this means from home too! I am not just disabled, I am SEVERELY chronically ill with multiple conditions.
So no I can’t do surveys either which needs a lot of physical interaction and yes I tried.
In fact I spent many years trying anything and everything, long before I started this blog years ago! I didn’t just go “oh now I can’t work”.
I actually worked full time for as long as I could, then instead of just quitting when the pain got bad, I PUSHED ON and worked part time which was horrific torture for me. But I did it as I thought I could still do something.
And THAT is why I can’t get ESA! Yes because I worked part time!
If I had quit, I would be getting ESA money, but as I worked part time, I didn’t pay enough national insurance so I can’t get ESA for more YEARS until I get enough NI credits.
And to make it worse, as I signed up to ESA part way through the year, that whole year of NI credits means nothing unless you pay for the rest of the years NI credits, which obviously I can’t do.
So that 8 months is in the bin as I couldn’t pay the 4 months for the extra NI credits, so I need another year on top too.
You can read all about that and more in my About Me or my FAQ where ALL questions you have are answered as I get the same questions all the time which is why I made the FAQ.
I get just over £350 a month total income which is all I can get and why I live on a poverty income STILL after all these years running this blog. Again, all of this is in my about me and FAQ if you have any questions.
I cannot get a penny more and this has been confirmed by DWP about 90 times, my MP and even parliament 4 times! I cannot get more as I do not qualify due to ridiculous rules about national insurance credits. This is why I live on PIP alone and why I need help.
I never expect a penny, but if you can and want to help, you can help support me in many ways such as donate, buy grocery gift cards if you don’t want to send money, buy from a wish list and many other ways! Check my Support Me page for all the ways you can help.
NOTHING EXPECTED!!
ALL money goes on food and bills and nothing else as I don’t have enough money for those as it is.
Please consider sharing to try to raise awareness.
You hear other stories much less worse that get media coverage, but I can barely do anything anymore and if you can’t type or talk a lot, you can’t do much to raise awareness.
You can read back on my many years of posting about myself, disability and chronic illness on this blog, as well as detailed about me and FAQ’s for you to read that answer all the questions I get, which are often the exact same and I can’t type out the same things over and over, so I put them all in one place so I can just link people to go read that instead of trying to type out the answer to something I have answered 500 times in the last year alone.
